It wasn't the response I was expecting. I'd been sharing the news of my first pregnancy with a group of colleagues when one of the women kidded, "It's a good thing they start out as babies. No one in their right mind would say to their spouse, 'Honey, let's have a teenager.' " Although everyone in the group chuckled, there was a slight nervousness behind our laughter. We were all well aware of this woman's ongoing challenges with her own two teenagers. And while her comment was meant as a joke, I think we all could agree on some level with its premise.
Deep down, I found the remark a bit unsettling, knowing that my much-anticipated little one would eventually become a teenager. I've learned, over the years, to be alert to these moments when I feel unsettled or uncomfortable. Often they're prompted by something I've heard expressed by others as if it were a truth about everyone. These moments have become a warning signal for me to stop and take the time to consider what's disturbing me and why. But I find it's not enough to just identify the source of my discomfort. I need to take time to pray about it, as well.
As an educator, I am well aware of the many developmental stages of growth that people go through, from infanthood on up to the senior years. Some phases are more familiar than others, such as the "terrible twos" and those oft-maligned teenage years. But even adults aren't exempt from labels as they face experiences like menopause, or the stages that popular culture calls mid-life crises and senior moments.
