For several years, I struggled with internal pain that was debilitating at times. I curtailed or gave up activities like cycling, hiking, or traveling because sitting or standing for long periods was difficult to do comfortably. Sometimes I was unable to go to work.
I was initially tempted to have a medical diagnosis, but I suspected that medical solutions, even while promising results, too often imposed limitations. So instead, I dedicated myself as never before to Christian Science. I yearned to understand this revelation of Truth and to live it, not just study it to get a healing so I could resume cherished activities.
Discouraged one day by persistent discomfort, my eyes fell on a statement from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy: “It is the spiritualization of thought and Christianization of daily life, in contrast with the results of the ghastly farce of material existence; . . . which really attest the divine origin and operation of Christian Science” (p. 272). There’s more to the statement, but it was suddenly clear that “spiritualization of thought and Christianization of daily life” were key to the practice of Christian Science, to living it.
Spiritualization of thought to me started with approaching the beliefs I had long held, examining and questioning premises and conclusions like a scientist. What did I consider to be cause and effect? Was I believing that Spirit or matter is causal? I observed how different I felt when my prayer began with God as the one and only cause, all-inclusive good, and with good as the only possible outcome. Then thoughts flowed that were empowering and expansive. I felt embraced and safe in God’s care, and could feel that this care was universal.
By contrast, when I started from the material premise of a physical problem or human power, my prayer was self-centered, anxious, doubtful, and tedious. Putting to the test the statement that “Truth is ever truthful, and can tolerate no error in premise or conclusion” (Science and Health, p. 129), I mentally challenged the inconsistencies and limitations of material beliefs with strenuous spiritual reasoning. What came as a result was spiritual understanding and peace, and incidentally, the pain would dissipate.
Along with spiritualizing my premises and conclusions, I deeply pondered Christ Jesus’ teachings. He declared that continuing in his teachings, we would know the truth and it would make us free (see John 8:31, 32). The Gospels became a go-to and how-to for my life. “What did Jesus say or do?” was a touchstone in my relationships, including in marriage and parenting, in church, and at work.
One day after church, a person I really respected came up to me and said, “I’ve noticed how patient you’ve become and willing to serve.” I was elated at this unexpected recognition, as indeed I, too, had noticed an inner softening and more humility. It was bolstering because I was conscious of the growth in Christian character, even though there was no permanent release yet from the physical limitations, and the pain would return.
One day when I felt I couldn’t work, I was lying on the couch, terrorized by fear and unable to focus and pray. I wrote down three statements: “I’m afraid I won’t be able to get off the couch. I’m afraid this will get worse over time. I’m afraid I will die.” Out in the open, so to speak, instead of simply storming in my thought, I saw that the fear was regarding the immediate, near future, and ultimate future. And suddenly I heard, as if by a voice, the declaration, “O ye of little faith.” I looked up the quotation and found three occasions where Christ Jesus used this phrase (Matthew 6:30; 8:26; 16:8).
The first instance was in the context of his assurance not to worry because God is always present and good, sustaining the birds, dressing the lilies, and feeding and caring for man. The Christ message to me was, “Don’t worry, God is here, now, in this hour, and will get you off the couch.”
The second instance was when the disciples were in a storm on a boat with Jesus and were afraid they would die—the same fear I had. Jesus stilled the storm and all was calm. The message to me was, “No matter how dire this feels, you are safe.”
The third instance was when the disciples completely misunderstood Jesus’ meaning when he told them to “beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees” (Matthew 16:6), and were concerned that they had forgotten to bring bread for the journey. This instance actually made me laugh out loud because Jesus had literally just fed a crowd of thousands with a few loaves and fishes, but the disciples were apparently already distracted from acknowledging God’s power. The message to me was, “In your fear of this getting worse, have you forgotten what God has already done?” And I felt instantly humbled and grateful for the many healings I had experienced over many years. These healings came to thought like an overflowing basket of bread!
That day marked a turning point. Each of those compelling accounts illustrating Christ Jesus’ confidence in spiritual law brought me powerful reassurance of divine Love’s sustaining presence now, later, and always. I knew that this Principle, Love, was the source and operative force of my life, of all life. Each time fear threatened after that day, I felt the same spirit of Truth rising up in me. I could not falter or fail in faith! I could only gain in understanding and demonstration of spiritual reality just as the disciples had. I mentally stood on this solid ground.
And so, step by step I spiritually outgrew the fear, the symptoms, and the claim that this was a real condition that could disrupt or end my life—until any belief in, or evidence of, the condition was gone. I resumed travel, cycling, and hiking, but in the many years since this healing, nothing has taken precedence over my continual desire to ever more deeply understand the spiritual nature of reality; humbly and confidently walk with God; and stand my ground in the truth that made me free.
Tricia Chantha
Woodland Hills, California, US
