In January, 1899, I was suffering from despondency caused by business reverses, which, though temporary, seemed beyond remedy or relief; but when the way was most dark and gloomy there came to me "the guiding star of Truth, . . . divine Science, lighting the way to eternal harmony" (Science and Health, Preface, p. vii.).
One very cold night, my wife, who was trying to assist me, upon my returning home, laid upon the table a copy of Science and Health which had been loaned her by a Christian Scientist, saying, "Here is something for you to read." She seemed more cheerful than she had been for some time, and told me of the favorable results of her day's efforts, and though my present outlook seemed brighter, I could not see how the reading of a book could make the future prospect any better. I began to read, however, and soon the discouraging, clouded thought that prevented my seeing the light of divine Love commenced to vanish and I began, to see dimly the direction to which I must turn for help.
I had previously believed in liquor, and was at that time resorting to it (the fool's remedy for trouble), and it had added to my distress in many ailments,— sore throat, lung trouble, etc. Error furnished (to mortal sense) these excuses for bountiful doses of rum and molasses, and although I continued to read the book, and admitted that there were some good things about Christian Science, I thought it hardly safe to abandon my remedy entirely. This I now see, was error prompting me to drive a bargain with Truth whereby I might receive all the benefits of divine Love, in return for a half-way acknowledgment of His power and glory, and disobedience of His first commandment.
