Nearly twelve years ago, in a time of dire need, Christian Science first came into my home, with healing in its wings. My mother had been an invalid for many years, most of the time a great sufferer, and shortly before the advent of Christian Science into our home she had listened to the ultimatum of her physicians, together with the concurrent opinion of several leading specialists, that her only hope lay in a surgical operation, the alternative being death. My own physical condition was distressing in the extreme, as for years I had not known what it was to be entirely free from pain of some sort, and financial reverses, coupled with my father's increasing ill health, had weighted me with burdens under which I struggled despairingly and with daily increasing bitterness, until I had reached the condition of one "having no hope, and without God in the world."
My parents and myself were church members, and in so far as health permitted, were regular attendants upon the services. Personally, I was addicted to "religious dissipation," and attended many services in the vain hope of finding something that would be of thoroughly practical benefit to me in my honest desire to be obedient to God. Because of continued failure in this, and the endless disappointments which befell me, I was fast becoming an embittered skeptic. I sought the truth which makes free; I became only more vainly entangled in theology, the religion that binds. But one thing remained to my credit,—I spent most of my leisure in obedience to the Master's injunction: "Search the Scriptures," and hoped that I might find therein, life.
Into the discord of our lives came the harmony-bringing influence of Christian Science. Within the space of a few short weeks I saw my father healed from lifelong stomach trouble, from rheumatic trouble of many years' standing, from a cataract which had partially obscured the sight of one eye, and from numerous minor ailments. I saw my mother delivered from the surgeon's knife, released from the bondage of disease, restored to life. I was myself benefited in various ways. And yet, despite all this, I was of those who would not be persuaded, "though one rose from the dead." In my inmost consciousness I knew that Christian Science was the truth; its fruits were proof of that. Yet for almost three years I fought bitterly, though in the main silently, against any outward recognition of this wondrous truth. At times I would almost cease to struggle but some word or thought would stir me to the depths, and my consciousness would again become the battle-ground between truth and error, and I was torn and racked, mentally and physically, until I cried as did the dwellers among the Gadarene tombs, Why art thou come hither to torment me before the time? Truly I was as one possessed, not of seven devils, but of seven times seventy. I had, however, occasional lucid intervals, when I would request, and would usually receive, help from Christian Science treatment. I was in such a condition, however, that at times the treatment apparently had not the least effect, and seemed, as the practitioner afterwards told me, as though it were directed against a stone wall.
