"Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; to the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent." This verse of the psalmist came to me as a direct command to open my lips and give thanks forever. Having learned both the necessity and reward of obeying all heavenly imparted messages, I offer my testimony. Through childhood and girlhood my physique was considered frail, and my school career was often interrupted by illness. As I grew into womanhood, and undertook the responsibilities of my profession, that of teaching, it became painfully evident that I was living on the verge of my endurance. Several times, during vacations, I was obliged to take systematic rest-cure, so as to build up some reserve force for the ensuing term. Stomach trouble, which had pursued me from my erliest childhood, had at various periods demanded a restricted diet, but the prediction of complete invalidism caused me neither to fear nor to foresee danger.
Knowing of no higher protection, it was inevitable that the mortal law should be most comprehensively fulfilled, and in the fulfilling that not a jot or tittle should be subtracted from the burden of my suffering or from the sorrow that my suffering caused others. Almost five years ago came a climax in what seemed a final breakdown. Recurrent abdominal trouble, with its train of miseries, demanded an operation, and this I underwent with a fervent hope and strong conviction that so harsh a measure would forcibly adjust the balance for health. But oh, the pity of an operation on a frail physique! In a year and a half I found myself in the same hospital, under the same loving care, but absolutely hopeless and helpless! I not only recited to myself daily, hourly, the failure of all I held dear to revivify or uplift, but was consumed with a burning resentment that in being deprived of my usefulness I was an object of pity and commiseration to all. Therein lay the depth of my despair, and yet the chief incentive for any sacrifice.
I had refused Christian Science before my second hospital experience, because in my judgment it was not a science. I had delved into technical philosophies, had taught the fundamentals of several sciences, and I protested that religion and Science could not coalesce; but, as our textbook says, "sneers at the application of the word Science to Christianity cannot prevent that from being scientific which is based on divine Principle, demonstrated according to a divine given rule, and subjected to proof" (Science and Health, p. 341). In my extremity, and with deep-rooted yearning to regain my usefulness and place, I asked for what I had rejected.
We read that when we are empty of the letter we are ready for the inspiration of the spirit; so I turned me, like the wasted prodigal, to our merciful Father, and from the first treatment the healing of sickness and sin began, a healing which by its very nature is progressive. In ten days I was at my post, but it took months of the practitioner's patient, prayerful watching to uproot the seeds of belief in those mortal laws which I had accepted through what Mrs. Eddy calls "the bias of education" (Science and Health, p. 381), and had thought, in intellectual arrogance, to be scientific reality. The activity of the one Mind has been demonstrated in my experience, the harmony of spiritual energies has been restored and sustained to the degree that in appearance I am beyond recognition, and in endurance beyond the capacity of what is ordinarily deemed normal. Since the upheaval in our city, I have taught half the day in one of our suburbs across the bay, not completing my work till evening, and in the face of such difficulties that those who understand the source of my strength rejoice with me, and the most incredulous have been given pause. So great a God is our God!
To many the most astonishing part of my regeneration is the restoration of my sight. For years I had worn far-sighted lenses, but as time went on prostrating headaches, which seemed to affect my stomach, resulted from any use of the eyes, and I was obliged to attach in telescopic fashion eight degree prisms for a muscular trouble which had produced cross-eye. The only literature I was permitted to enjoy for my work or edification was obtained through the kindness of those who read to me. I often said the greatest desire I had in this world was the "curing" of my eyes. This complication necessitated the same patient work in Christian Science, the demonstration being protracted because I refused to do my share in removing the glasses; the delay in seizing my opportunity delaying the reward. During the last three years I have used my eyes constantly, both by day and night, and the victory over that phase of material sense has been a well-spring of joy and profit.
My gratitude to Christian Science is not alone that health, sight, and activity have been given me, but that I have been spiritually regenerated. Through spiritual sight I am claiming man's inheritance, with "signs following" in practical living. Were I to attempt to express to our dauntless Leader what has been the greatest blessing of her teaching. I should say she has given what physician or philosopher has never formulated or defined,—a standard for guidance in every plane of thought, in every sphere of activity. For present blessings, and for the earnest of the promise these blessings give of a better, broader future which must lead to ultimate salvation, I can give best that true gratitude which every Scientist knows in having found God.— San Francisco, Cal.
