Truth comes to each of us in the way we are best able to accept it. It came to me in a strange and remarkable manner, and undoubtedly in the only way I would receive it. I had looked in every direction but the right one for God, for health, and for happiness. Because I had never found a religion that was satisfying nor one that was practical in daily living, my antipathy to religion of every sort had become so great that had Christian Science been presented to me as such or as a healing agency, I might have rejected and scoffed at it. It came to me, however, in the way I was best able to accept it; for God was leading me "in paths before unknown," though I knew it not. Mrs. Eddy tells us in "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" (p. 1) that "desire is prayer." My desire for good was above all else, and this prayer or desire was to be realized and in a manner which to human sense would appear remarkable. Having been told by physicians that I had but six months to live, a great sense of despondency, resentment, and rebellion took possession of me, for I had prayed long prayers asking for health and happiness, which had never been answered. I had come to believe there was no God, and if there was, He was cruel and I hated Him; so I determined to end it all by suicide. The thought of self-destruction had been with me for some time, and it seemed the only escape from my difficulties.
One morning, while engaged in making preparations to carry out this plan, my attention was arrested by the sound of voices coming from the parlor of the hotel where I was then living. They appeared to be having a good time ridiculing their concept of Christian Science. One remark impressed me very forcibly and caused me to forget what I had been thinking. The speaker was telling the others that if they had not read the book on Christian Science by Mrs. Eddy, they had better get it and read it, as it was so ridiculous they would laugh themselves sick over it. I had never heard of this book nor of Christian Science, and this remark would probably not have interested me had it been anything in favor of Christian Science, but the idea which particularly held my attention was that this was a book that would make one laugh; and the thought came to me that if I could get it and read it, it might cheer me up a bit and lift me out of that terrible state of despondency. I hastened, therefore, to the hotel office to inquire where I might obtain this book.
I was referred to a Christian Scientist who, they said, might allow me to accompany her to church, where no doubt I could procure a copy of the book. The lady was located, and cheerfully consented to my accompanying her the following Sunday, which I did. Evidently she thought I was seeking help through Christian Science, but my thought was only one of ridicule. I thought these Christian Scientists were fanatics of some sort, and that this experience would be something like going to a circus. I was therefore wholly unprepared for the great feast in store for me.
