On page 240 of Science and Health our beloved Leader, Mrs. Eddy, says, "If at present satisfied with wrong-doing, we must learn to loathe it." These words I had always read with tongue in cheek when considered in relation to my addiction to the smoking habit, in which I had indulged for many years. I thought that smoking was an inoffensive little social custom and that I derived real pleasure from it. How then could I ever learn to loathe it?
I was not an active student of Christian Science and turned to it only spasmodically for the alleviation of suffering or lack. It had many times occurred to me that the smoking habit was a stumbling block to church membership and to spiritual progress. However, this realization appeared only to give fresh impetus to the indulgence of the habit, until I was smoking almost constantly. Finally, by its very excessiveness, the situation became intolerable to me. The loathing of which Mrs. Eddy speaks had come to my consciousness. I attempted to exercise human will power to overcome the habit, but was unsuccessful.
Longing to be free from it and to become an active supporter of the Christian Science movement, I wept bitter tears, and in my despair the thought came to me that I would never be healed of the desire to smoke. In this extremity came Mrs. Eddy's words (ibid., p. 1), "Desire is prayer." At that moment I was completely and permanently healed.
