The child of an Army officer was playing house in the busy lobby of a hotel. Another guest sympathetically said, "Isn't it too bad you have no home?"
"Oh, we do have a home," the little girl replied; "we just have no house to put it in."
Man's true home is spiritual, not material. It is the sweet awareness of immortal Love's provision for well-being, progress, and happy fruition. Home is the consciousness in which Love finds instant expression, where Soul's resources yield a constant blessing, and where happiness is secure on a spiritual foundation.
The human sense of home comes to different individuals in different ways. Some find it without marriage; others in the institution of marriage and the family. Through the disciplines of a close companionship we can learn the qualities of thought and ways of action that take us gently and surely to heavenly good, to the full use of Soul's infinite resources and Love's direction.
A wife complimented her husband in these words: "His manner and actions always say: 'I like you. I am glad to have the opportunity to be with you.'" Human affection is a grand quality. Mary Baker Eddy says in "Miscellaneous Writings" (p. 250), "As a human quality, the glorious significance of affection is more than words: it is the tender, unselfish deed done in secret; the silent, ceaseless prayer; the self-forgetful heart that overflows; the veiled form stealing on an errand of mercy, out of a side door; the little feet tripping along the sidewalk; the gentle hand opening the door that turns toward want and woe, sickness and sorrow, and thus lighting the dark places of earth."
The sweet love and anticipation of trysting times need never be lost in the unfolding of events. Man is the ideal of Love, and the more familiar we become with the real man, the more we shall look for and find the Godlike qualities that are inherent in his nature, and the more we shall enjoy what we see. Jesus expressed the keenest judgment, yet he said (John 8:15, 16): "Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man. And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me." And we have the blessed privilege of judging truly.
Jesus knew how to develop into satisfying expression the deep and serious possibilities for good always inherent in human consciousness. A good test of our usefulness as members of a family is the success we have in helping those around us to feel more capable as members of God's family of ideas, more conscious of the inner worth of man as God's child, and hence more useful to themselves and to mankind.
I have heard people say, "But if only he would study Christian Science, I could be more helpful to him, and our marriage would be happier." Such a standpoint sometimes fails to make full use of the good that our companion expresses, regardless of his religious convictions or his disbelief in our convictions.
If we know man as the child of God, we shall cherish every evidence our companion shows of true manhood. We shall support his every right idea and earnest hope. We can feel at one with good wherever and whenever we see it and not make the mistake of waiting until others name the name of Christ in Christian Science before we appreciate them. Paul's advice not to dwell with unbelievers is pertinent. We should dwell with man, the child of God.
If a close relationship develops into a display of mortal beliefs, a display of that which is not expressed in the real man but in mortal mind, then we may seem to lose the natural reward of companionship, and evil may seem to be at home with us. We have an individual task to perform if this is the case. We have the opportunity and necessity to express the qualities of the Christ in our own ways and thoughts, and by this means to eradicate in our experience that which contradicts Christliness. Having a pure ideal within, we shall find an ever-increasing manifestation of that ideal in our outward actions and circumstances. It is our right and joy to bring immortal qualities into the focus of events, both for ourselves and for our companions.
Marriage demands discipline, self-sacrifice, and service; it requires patience, willingness to consider another's point of view, and the demands made on him by that point of view. Once agreed to, the terms of marriage cannot morally be altered without mutual consent. The Christian Scientist learns the necessity of not confusing his theoretical knowledge of the demands of absolute Science with the understanding he has of demonstrating these demands. He learns to be exacting of himself but lenient in his demands upon others whose progress he may feel is not equal to his own. The gentle persuasiveness of a good example and of high ideals will serve absolute Science better than hidebound and dogmatic opinions.
In an article called "Wedlock" in "Miscellaneous Writings" Mrs. Eddy says (p. 288): "Positive and imperative thoughts should be dropped into the balances of God and weighed by spiritual Love, and not be found wanting, before being put into action. A rash conclusion that regards only one side of a question, is weak and wicked." Later in the same paragraph she adds, "Wisdom in human action begins with what is nearest right under the circumstances, and thence achieves the absolute."
Is a marriage ever beyond repair? This much can be said: there are no really hopeless situations, although there may be situations about which we have grown hopeless. Faith is sometimes the capacity to see possibility in what seems materially impossible. Spiritual faith and understanding meet no successful rebuttal from matter or material circumstances, regardless of their nature.
With quiet words, searching thoughts, and careful actions we can demonstrate in the minutiae of our affairs the qualities of godliness that are natural to man, and evil will go down before them. We can maintain our joy in God's infinite goodness, our love and respect for man, God's child, in spite of all the calumny or hate that may claim another's attention. Continuing in well-being, we can safely leave the issue to the unfolding of events and wait joyfully and patiently for God's loving mandate.
One factor which contributes to a happy household should not be overlooked: the necessity for each individual to have time alone. We need periods of stillness within, when the clamor of events and opinions is shut out, when we can be alone with our thoughts, our hopes, our innermost feelings. Quiet contemplation will dedicate a home, whereas an unbroken round of material activity may tend to desecrate it.
(Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 59): "Fulfilling the different demands of their united spheres, their sympathies should blend in sweet confidence and cheer, each partner sustaining the other,—thus hallowing the union of interests and affections, in which the heart finds peace and home."
