Not long after the end of the Second World War, I tried to destroy my own life. My submission to so-called laws of heredity, inferiority complexes, circumstances connected with family disharmony, and war disturbances had caused deep depression and finally despair. And these elements seemed to temporarily overpower the tender seedlings of Christian Science that had just started to grow in my heart. But in my darkest hour of temptation there came to my consciousness, as a flash of light, a reminder that divine Life and its spiritual idea are infinite. This truth came with such power and clarity to me, that I found the strength to rise with hope for a new beginning. I no longer wished to die.
Because I had lost much blood from my suicide attempt and was very weak, concerned relatives took me to a hospital. After a short time my arm became infected by blood poisoning. During the night I lost consciousness, and the surgeons decided to amputate the arm. When I regained consciousness for a short time, I found myself on the operating table with the surgeons around me. The thought came to me very strongly that God had helped me to stay alive and He would not forsake me now. The doctors suddenly changed their plans and decided not to amputate. The nurse later told me that in my case God had really worked a wonder.
During the next weeks in the hospital a stillness grew within me, and my confidence returned. Each day before dawn I studied the Lesson-Sermon in the Christian Science Quarterly, using the Bible and Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy. There was a lot of time to think of God and my relationship to Him. I took no medicine (the pills given to me I destroyed), and the wounds were only cleansed. Slowly I regained strength so that I could get up and walk around.
