Before finding Christian Science, I underwent chemotherapy. Later, when some of the cancer symptoms recurred, I called a Christian Science practitioner for help through prayer. At the time I had been a student of this Science for six years, and I wanted a complete healing in Christian Science.
After I had prayed for several weeks, asking God what I needed to learn about my relation to Him, the paramount issue became clear: I needed to know that God loved me. For many years I had denied the Christ and felt resentful and bitter toward an entire nation of people. I had often wondered, "How could they murder millions of another race? How could people commit such atrocities?"
What I found most difficult was to believe that God could love me when I was wrestling with hateful thoughts. Then came the realization, slowly but with great force, that just as God didn't know such things as wars (Habakkuk 1:13 says God is "of purer eyes than to behold evil"), He also did not know the war that was bombarding my thought. Rather, He had always been showing me and all humanity His love in ways that we could acknowledge and understand.
