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On minding our own business

From the August 1991 issue of The Christian Science Journal


Sometimes minding our own business means exactly that. Other times, especially if we see someone heading for trouble, it may be tempting to offer an opinion or a bit of helpful advice. How do we know when to be quiet? And when to speak up? Christ Jesus' Golden Rule, "Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them," Matt. 7:12. can be our guide.

Do we want others thrusting their unsolicited opinions and advice upon us? Even when we request another's advice, we may choose to hear only what conforms to our inclinations. The human mind has a strong tendency to self-justification and is not at all inclined to self-correction. Are we earnest enough in our pursuit of truth to consider carefully opinions differing from our own leanings? Conversely, are those we wish to enlighten with our wisdom likely to appreciate our efforts? Is it ever our place to do the "enlightening"—assuming we are even correct in our views?

A while back, I learned an important lesson about examining my own motives in giving advice. The occasion was a happy gathering of relatives and friends. During the evening I volunteered to a friend who was bursting with pride, comments on the perils of pride (thinking to spare her later anguish, I told myself). Later I learned that this bit of unsolicited "wisdom" had had the effect of dousing her candle of joy with a bucket of ice water—truly not the intended outcome. After much soul-searching and struggling with self-justification, I faced the uncomfortable fact that my motive had not been as unselfish as it had seemed on the surface. My shared "insight" had, in fact, been merely a camouflage for self-righteousness; I'd fallen into the trap of being proud of being so humble.

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