First as a daughter, and then as a wife, I seemed to be playing roles. I was mimicking what others expected of me. I didn't seem to be thinking my own, individual thoughts. An identity crisis appeared to be imminent. Along with this, there seemed to be a crisis in my marriage. Outside interests were taking my husband further and further from the home center.
I tried everything I thought was required and desired of me, but to no avail. Then I tried jealousy, recrimination, complaint, suffering. Further alienation ensued. Mrs. Eddy writes so perceptively, "Every agony of mortal error helps error to destroy error, and so aids the apprehension of immortal Truth" (Science and Health, p. 548). I finally realized I needed treatment from a Christian Science practitioner.
In the Manual of The Mother Church, Mrs. Eddy gives inspired direction when she writes, "Neither animosity nor mere personal attachment should impel the motives or acts of the members of The Mother Church" (Art. VIII, Sect. I). These words began to take on important meaning for me as I listened to them read once a month in church. The steadfast practitioner assured me unstintingly that there was no lack of love in my marriage. She reminded me that I was loving, loved, and lovable because I was the direct expression of God, divine Love.
