This passage from Psalms came to me when I reached out to God at a time when I wasn’t sure if I would live: “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord” (118:17). It was the summer of 2005, and I was losing the ability to grasp objects and experiencing trouble walking. I felt a general weakness, and a sense of being very unwell. As the situation worsened, I could no longer practice my profession as a lawyer.
Having been raised in Christian Science, my instinct was to turn to God for healing, although I was very afraid. I had never experienced anything like this before. Gratefully, I had gone through Primary class instruction a few years earlier, and I contacted my Christian Science teacher for prayerful help.
In my prayers, I started at ground zero to decide if I truly believed in God. I came to the conviction that God was real and present, that the universe would not exist without God, and that God had to be good, not good and evil, or chaos would end all existence. Then at one point I was deciding if I was going to have the condition medically diagnosed. It took me three long months, but I came to the firm conviction that I was not going to seek a diagnosis; I was going to look only to Spirit, not matter, to tell me about my God-given wholeness. This was a crucial step forward.
I thought back on previous healings. In between college and law school, I had a healing of what a friend said was impetigo. It had spread over my body during a period of months and was uncomfortable and painful. Eventually, I realized I had to correct my thoughts about multiple individuals in my life—that is, to bring my thinking in line with God, divine Love. Diligently, I began to watch my thinking, correcting negative thoughts of others with what was spiritually true about them. Remarkably, within one week of this conscientious mental watching, the condition disappeared, demonstrating the direct connection between thought and body as taught in Christian Science.
But this illness appeared to me to be on a whole other level of difficulty. My wife, Kris, who is also a Christian Scientist, was unwavering in her support, and absolutely fearless during this time. I will forever be grateful for her help and the dedicated prayers of others.
Despite how dire my condition seemed, I continued to pray diligently, denying the reality of the illness and pouring in spiritual truths. I read from the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy constantly, reading through Science and Health multiple times. Two related passages I often considered from these books were “Occupy till I come” (Luke 19:13), and “Patience must ‘have her perfect work’ ” (Science and Health, p. 454). These passages encouraged me to diligently hold my ground—refusing to give in to the lie of illness and persistently knowing the spiritual truth.
Each day, God was graciously sustaining me with an angel thought that would get me through the day. At first, I would post these thoughts on the mirror in our bathroom, and then I started writing them down in a journal where I also wrote out Christian Science treatments for myself.
One thought I worked with frequently was the profound truth of my perfection as God’s idea. I realized more and more how important it is to declare our spiritual perfection and that praying from an absolute standpoint is what truly brings healing. Just as the number eight, for example, never varies or loses its unique perfection and completeness, I could not lose my perfection as an idea of God, good. Mrs. Eddy writes in The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, “Christian Science is absolute; it is neither behind the point of perfection nor advancing towards it; it is at this point and must be practised therefrom” (p. 242).
I came to realize more and more that I lived in Spirit, not in matter, and that disease is just a false mental image projected on the body. At times, I heard God speaking directly to me in my thought. One day I was lying in the bathtub, feeling so sick that I didn’t even want to open my eyes, when I heard, “You are in no danger.” I knew this thought was from God, as I would never phrase it that way.
Many challenges arose during those months, unrelated to this health challenge, that threatened to overwhelm my thought. One of these problems was seemingly endless delays with the remodeling of our home. However, with God’s help I was able to rise above the frustration and stress, and ultimately bless those involved with the work.
The primary carpenter on the project, who was a significant cause of delay, confided to me shortly before Thanksgiving that he had not seen nor heard from his teenage daughter in over six months. He said he had no idea where she was living or how to contact her. I told him I would pray. I knew that God’s ideas can never be separated, that his daughter could hear God’s voice, and that an idea of Love can never be lost. On Thanksgiving, the carpenter’s daughter called him and they reconnected. He was very grateful and acknowledged my prayers had brought results.
I was also able to finally drop any lingering resentment of my former law partner, who at one point had been my best friend. A few years prior he had abruptly terminated our law partnership of 13 years without my consent, and I had felt betrayed. I earnestly prayed to forgive him, and one day I felt an indescribable sense of God’s love for him and me. On about the same date, he left me an email message apologizing.
I learned to trust God more and more. One night before bed, I felt I might not make it through the night. I remember turning my entire being over to God and trusting Him with my whole heart. I woke in the morning feeling better and was able to trust divine Love even more going forward. A passage from Science and Health I pondered sums up the effect of this growing trust: “When we come to have more faith in the truth of being than we have in error, more faith in Spirit than in matter, more faith in living than in dying, more faith in God than in man, then no material suppositions can prevent us from healing the sick and destroying error” (p. 368).
Two days after Christmas, I was praying and suddenly felt safe. A sense that all was well overtook me. By that time, I had reached the point that whatever symptoms were presented, I was unimpressed. At first the physical situation was the same, but I knew the healing had taken place in thought. Once the fear was broken, the illness had no foundation and every vestige of it gradually faded away.
I continued to pray, and when symptoms seemed to rear up, I would return to that comforting sense of being safe in God. I felt better and better, and about four months after experiencing this clear shift in thought, I was completely well. I was in awe. I became convinced that anyone can be healed of any problem in Christian Science.
But the physical healing was only part of that promise from Psalms that proved true in my experience. I also experienced renewed purpose. Not long after my healing, I was asked by the individual overseeing Christian Science institutional work in state and federal prisons in Texas to restart the Houston area institutional committee. The committee was restarted, and over many years since that time, through the work of dedicated committee members, numerous healings and blessings have resulted as inmates have learned of their innate goodness as children of God.
I also became involved in teaching Sunday School at our branch Church of Christ, Scientist, served as Sunday School superintendent, and later twice served as First Reader for multiple years. I truly was made new and enabled to “declare the works of the Lord.”
Christian Science is the promised Comforter that can meet any need, no matter how severe. I am truly grateful.
Jeffrey Gresham Tinkham
Houston, Texas, US
