Many years ago when I worked at a technical training institute in my home city of Chandigarh, India, we were told there would be additional paid projects conducting programs for engineering colleges in the summer. As a teacher trainer, I was looking forward to this, but soon my joy faded when I found that they were distributing these programs among favored individuals. I never raised my voice about this, but when the same thing happened again for the winter programs, I discussed the issue directly with my department head. His vague response took me aback. I began to pray by claiming that all my projects and appreciation for my work come directly from my Father-Mother God, but it only felt like a repetition of words without any spirit.
I attend an annual Christian Science students’ association meeting, and that year the topic was “Healing animal magnetism.” From my study of the topic I had been continuing to know that the source of animal magnetism, the suggestion that evil exists and operates in our lives, is neither a person, a place, nor a thing. It is only a false suggestion that would try to enslave our thought so we are unable to listen to God and receive divine guidance.
One night after finishing work, I knew I needed to pray till I got a clear message from God. I felt like Jacob in the Bible, who was struggling to hear an angel message. Along with feeling anger toward my boss, I was also suddenly doubting my teaching abilities, which for many years had been appreciated. Within an hour or so, I was able to hear what I needed to hear—that God is the source of my self-esteem, and that this spiritual sense of worth could not be taken from me.
