Is it possible to live "happily ever after"? There is much in contemporary fiction, music, and movies which perpetuates this myth—and perhaps thereby contributes to the prevalence of disappointment in marriage and dissatisfaction in singlehood.
If we accept the premise that another person—a husband or wife— can truly make us happy, we may feel disappointed in the relationship when we experience unhappiness. At such times the assumption is often that if the other person would only change, we would be happy. And if the spouse is unwilling or incapable of changing at that point, we may look for other changes. We change hairstyles and lifestyles, restructure our bodies and our schedules, change jobs, neighborhoods, even marriage partners. Yet many still discover they are not happy.
Eventually we need to challenge the premise that being married (or being single) in and of itself is the basis for happiness. If change seems needed, perhaps the real need is that of changing our viewpoint —changing from the perspective that we are mortals who need to get something in order to be happy, to the spiritual fact that we are in reality spiritual beings. As God's beloved children, we already possess within ourselves all that is necessary for lasting satisfaction, peace of mind, and happiness. When we begin to think of marriage not so much as a means of achieving happiness but as an environment for growth—that is, offering the soil and mental climate that encourage and even, at times, force personal growth Spiritward—then we have a perspective that permits us to work through the stormy and dark times that many long-term relationships encounter.
