How often do we find ourselves praying over some difficulty or situation and then immediately go rushing about to find the right solution? In our human zeal to make our prayers and desires come to fruition, we try to make good be more evident in our experience. It seems that one of the greatest challenges for us is to "let." Mrs. Eddy surely recognized this challenge when she gave us the "Daily Prayer." Every member of The Mother Church undertakes to pray each day: "'Thy kingdom come;' let the reign of divine Truth, Life, and Love be established in me, and rule out of me all sin; and may Thy Word enrich the affections of all mankind, and govern them!"Manual of The Mother Church, Art. VIII, Sect. 4.
We all cherish the experiences we have when we allow the Christ to operate—when we still all sense of fear, anxiousness, or self-importances and let the understanding of what God knows of us flood our being. As we allow an appreciation for God in all His magnificence and love to fill our thoughts, we see our unbroken relationship to Him.
These ideas proved helpful at a time when I longed to take Primary class instruction in Christian Science. I had heard so many people speak of their gratitude for what they had learned from class instruction. I had been raised in Christian Science and had been enrolled in a Christian Science Sunday School from my earliest days, but I wanted whatever extra it was that one gained from Primary class. It seemed a natural and progressive step in my growth Spiritward. But how was I to choose just the right teacher?
During this time class instruction became to me a highly valuable human experience. I was so anxious about wanting class that I probably lost sight of the real purpose of class. I met with several authorized teachers of Christian Science—each time wondering if this one was "the one." I knew my desire for spiritual progress was right. But I was so caught up in human speculation that I even began to believe that maybe class just wasn't what God had intended for me.
Suddenly, as if a blast of sound had broken
through the dullness of a heavy fog I realized that
God, Mind, was surely leading me and that the
goodness I had always depended upon was still
directing me.
All this time I was praying to know what direction to take. I felt hurt and confused when no clear guidance came. I did apply for admission and was accepted by an authorized teacher of Christian Science, yet I still felt mired in human striving for what I thought was a divine ideal. Suddenly, as if a blast of sound had broken through the dullness of a heavy fog, I realized that God, Mind, was surely leading me and that the goodness I had always depended upon, the wisdom that was truly mine as God's wholly spiritual idea, was still directing me. God's omnipotence was here and now and all.
It became clear that I should not continue with the steps I had taken for class with this particular teacher. I was touched by the love and total release I felt when I explained this to him. I was assured that the decisions related to class instruction had to be right for all involved.
At that point I realized that the desire to learn more about God was (and is) a right one. I knew my Father loved me. I just put my hand in His and stopped trying to make class come into my experience. I realized that in reality all good is mine because my Father is the source. He created spiritual man, my real identity, to resound with His goodness.
All the searching I had done in the Bible and Science and Health, the Christian Science textbook by Mrs. Eddy, and in the Christian Science periodicals had really started to sink in. As I began to wake up and listen to Truth, many phrases I had read came to me with the comfort and assurance of God's presence. I started to let Truth reign in my life. I had said the "Daily Prayer" every day since I could remember. Now I started to pray it each day and acknowledge Love's presence.
It was a wonderful growing time. There were so many opportunities to let God govern rather than human will. Among the results were a quick healing of a sprained ankle, a release from confusion over a discordant relationship, and freedom from fear when I was traveling overseas alone. All of these were Love's gracious preparation. I knew with certainty that I could trust this desire for class instruction to God. Mrs. Eddy assures us: "Whatever needs to be done which cannot be done now, God prepares the way for doing; while that which can be done now, but is not, increases our indebtedness to God. Faith in divine Love supplies the ever-present help and now, and gives the power to 'act in the living present.'"The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, p. 12.
One day, almost two years later, the name of a Christian Science teacher came quietly but firmly to my thought. I had known this individual for several years. We had enjoyed many visits together, and I had always admired this individual's love and dedication to Christian Science. When the impulsion came to pursue class instruction with this teacher, my response was "Why, of course." A call was made, and my application was accepted for the class that was to be taught in a few months' time. This healing—and it truly has been a healing for me, a forward step in realizing and acknowledging God's government of my life—was so complete that every aspect of the two weeks of class instruction was filled with inspiration and God's guidance.
Qualities of thought were revealed to me that I might never have considered in my human search for the right teacher. I realized that I had gained freedom from the human outlining, over which I had initially labored, and was no longer so concerned about finding an "ideal" teacher. The outcome was unmistakable evidence of divine Love. This spiritual progress has indeed blessed my experience. I continue to see higher evidences of God's total control. This is such proof to me that God loves us completely and tenderly. The third verse of Hymn 9 in the Christian Science Hymnal says it so beautifully:
O longing hearts that wait on God
Through all the world so wide;
He knows the angels that you need,
And sends them to your side,
To comfort, guard and guide.
When we let God's infinitude be revealed, we see that in truth our whole existence is the result of His knowing and being. What God knows of His idea, man, is all we really are. We don't have to make good become evident. All of God's goodness is ours right now. We have this moment and every moment to see the fulfillment of His precious promises.
