My preschool-aged daughter, JJ, occasionally hits other family members when she doesn't get her way. It's a light, pretty harmless slap, but some-thing I certainly want to nip in the bud. I tried time-outs, asking JJ to sit quietly in her room for a few minutes while she calmed down. Then we'd talk about what had just taken place and why it was in-appropriate.
I found, though, that JJ had a hard time understanding that the quiet think time and ensuing conversation with Mom were a consequence of hitting. And in some cases, the timeouts just seemed to perpetuate the drama. I wanted to come up with an effective way to teach my daughter appropriate behavior. But what?
As I'm accustomed to doing when I'm trying to figure something out, I began to pray for answers. I really wanted more than a quick fix to the hitting problem—I wanted a better idea of my goals. So I asked myself, "What am I actually trying to accomplish with JJ?" I knew that the root of the word discipline is to learn. So I thought, What do I want my daughter to learn? What is the point of discipline?