THE WONDERFUL THING about a Christian Science healing is that it leaves you not only well, but with some new insight or understanding about your relationship with God. And often, that's the most memorable part of the healing.
One day a few years ago, I began to experience sudden constrictions around my chest that were knocking the wind out of me. These seizures recurred every few hours, and became stronger and more painful. I didn't know what the condition would be called, but I felt it was serious enough to stay home from work to deal with it. I called a Christian Science practitioner to help me redirect my thinking away from fear and pain to confidence in God's presence and healing power. The practitioner shared several comforting ideas, and suggested a few passages from the Bible and Science and Health for me to read. She agreed to give me specific, prayerful Christian Science treatment, while I went off to read the passages and see what meaning they held for me.
The seizures continued into the next day. I called the practitioner again and told her that I felt I understood the logic and Science of the passages she'd given me, but that I did not feel God's love—and that I wasn't particularly feeling love for Him, either. It reminds me of the verse from First John, "We love him, because he first loved us" (4:19). I felt I had a bad case of understanding the words without really getting the spirit of it.