Having received so much help from the Christian Science periodicals I feel that I would like to express my sincere thanks to all those who have written so many instructive and beautiful articles for them. I also wish to express my gratitude to Mrs. Eddy for what Christian Science has done for me. Through its teaching it has given me a much more intelligent idea of God. Before I knew of Christian Science I always felt that I ought to love God and my Bible, but I think I had more fear than love for Him, as He seemed so far off and so vague, and when sad and terrible things happened in life I was taught that it was God's will, and was for some good, and we ought not to rebel or murmur; but I am afraid I often did. I used to wonder how God could be all love and yet permit such dreadful things to happen. I was never a very happy child, and I was fast growing up into a morbid, depressed woman; my health was never good, I suffered from indigestion and bad headaches, and people used to say I was "all nerves."
It is several years since I first heard of Christian Science through a cousin whom I went to visit in London. I met many Scientists and went to their services often. I thought it the most beautiful religion, and returned to my home determined to live it, and to tell others of it. My first grief was when I found that none of my family would have anything to do with it, and my dear father, whose help and sympathy I thought I was sure to have, even condemned it. Then I found I must live this truth alone, and for many months the battle with errors of many kinds was to sense hard. For months I seemed unable to understand Science and Health, but through the great help and kindness of two dear cousins, I have been able at last to come to a better understanding, and have found that no matter where I am, I can be happy in Christian Science. It has taught me to be less selfish and I have now a great love in my heart for God and for all mankind, and a great desire to help others. My health is much improved; I can eat anything I like and do not suffer, and the attacks of depression are becoming less and less.
I think the mistake that all young Scientists are liable to make is in trying to understand too much at once, and then blaming themselves when they find they cannot immediately jump into heaven (harmony). We need to become very humble and patient, and just trust Love to guide us each day in the right path, or else in our hurry we take the wrong one which leads to fear, doubt, and confusion. This has been my experience, and since I have not struggled to understand, but put more trust in God, I have not struggled to understand, but put more trust in God, I have found that my progress has been more rapid and myself happier and more peaceful.
