Since reading the testimonies in the Christian Science Sentinel which has just arrived, I know I should delay no longer in gratefully acknowledging what Christian Science has done for me. I was never considered a hopeless invalid, but all my life I had suffered with tonsilitis, some form of nervous involuntary action, severe headaches, stomach trouble, and fully half the time I was considered "run down." For four years before learning of Science I had treatment from a specialist for a disorder of later development, and for eight years had worn glasses. At times I felt greatly encouraged that I would be permanently well, and for months together felt quite strong, then was much worse again.
In December. 1898. I was worse than I had been for a long time. I had trouble with my eyes, had lost my voice, and felt unable to walk any distance. I had prayed all my life for health, and I felt that God meant I should be well. I could not say that God was unable, and I could not believe that He was unwilling to heal me. I dearly loved the orthodox church in which I was a member, and was active in all branches of the church work. There were, however, two questions that troubled me at times: What was the Holy Ghost and had I received it? The Bible promise is certain, "Ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you." I did not have power physically, nor did I feel that I had power to overcome some faults which were repeated again and again.
The second question was: Why cannot Christians heal the sick now? I had heard a little about Christian Science on several occasions, for about eight years, but I had never seen any one whom I knew had been healed. I knew that Scientists believed that they understood how Jesus healed the sick, and also that they felt it was their duty to heal the sick. I did not believe it possible that they did know, and greatly feared it was something like mesmerism. I spent many hours a day reading my Bible with a concordance, especially the references regarding health and strength, and every account of healing. I found the Bible full of promises of health, where did the trouble lie? Why could I not be well? I spent two weeks in doing nothing else all day but read these promises, and prayed with many tears that God would show me what He wanted me to do in order to be strong and useful. Once the thought of Christian Science came to me, but error promptly suggested that if God heals by prayer I did not have to go to a person to be healed. I feared it was a suggestion of the devil to lead me away from God. I continued to plead, "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" and the thought then came to give up all material treatment. I knew that God did not need help to do the healing, and I prayed more earnestly to know if this was what I should do.
