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Before I became a student of...

From the May 1940 issue of The Christian Science Journal


Before I became a student of Christian Science I suffered from intense shyness. I very much disliked meeting people, and avoided social engagements whenever possible. It was always a great trial to me if I had to do anything which was in any way of a public nature. I suffered greatly because I felt bound and could not seem to get free, however hard I tried.

After I took up the study of Christian Science I wanted very much to become an active member of the movement, but nervousness always kept me back. I joined a branch church, but did not take much part in its activities. After some years I came into the practice of Christian Science, and this step helped me to realize that if I were going to do this work properly I must not continue to think that nervousness was part of me, but must overcome the difficulty. I therefore earnestly set to work to apply my understanding of Christian Science to the solving of my problem. I had always pitied myself because I was afflicted with shyness, but when I began to analyze the situation, I realized that it was a form of egotism. It was a belief that I had to do something or be something on my own.

Christian Science taught me that in my true selfhood I reflected God, and that I could never be required to do or be anything by my own effort alone. I saw that it was not, therefore, a case of being unable to express myself, but that in reality I expressed God and had the ability to do this from Him. I also tried to realize more deeply what loving mankind really means. This strengthened my desire to overcome the false sense of self and to seek my true identity as a child of God, in order that I might be able to express love to others.

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