A solitary figure sitting on a park bench; a gray-haired man or woman huddled in a cold and sparsely furnished room; a forlorn and hungry child crouched by the wayside —these are familiar images of loneliness and despair. They may be the ones that come to our thought when we remember it is a Christian duty to comfort the lonely and afflicted. "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this," says the Epistle of James, "To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction . . . ." James 1:27; Our hearts go out to these desolate individuals, and we long to help them.
But experience tells us that it is not only the people who sit alone who are unhappy. Loneliness is a far wider problem than first meets the eye—and from the human viewpoint more complex. We recognize that our efforts to help the lonely need to be guided by wisdom or they may not be effective.
Countless people admit to feeling lonely despite the proximity of family, friends, and business associates. Nearness to people is not the final answer to this problem of mental desolation. A truly thoughtful friend may be a help, whereas a clumsy personal contact may make things seem worse. In some cases of loneliness apparently it is people that are the problem—even the people who want to help. Perhaps they seem uncongenial or uncouth, having little or nothing in common with one's own interests and aspirations. In the case of do-gooders it may even seem they are trying to make themselves feel good by helping us. The feeling of being isolated may be aggravated by their presence and lessened when they go away.
