One balmy summer day over three years ago, I went out onto a rock pile behind my house to admire the late afternoon. While all was going smoothly in my personal life, I didn’t feel I was growing spiritually, and I wondered, “Is this all there is for me? Have I no higher purpose?” As I stepped down, a large rock suddenly gave way beneath me, and I fell. My left wrist was visibly broken.
Very shaken and in pain, I went into my house and called a Christian Science practitioner for help through prayer. I wondered whether I should get the bone set by a doctor, and the practitioner kindly assured me she would give me a Christian Science treatment either way. I struggled with this decision late into the night until it dawned on me that all I needed to do was to be obedient to this statement in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy: “Until the advancing age admits the efficacy and supremacy of Mind, it is better for Christian Scientists to leave surgery and the adjustment of broken bones and dislocations to the fingers of a surgeon, while the mental healer confines himself chiefly to mental reconstruction and to the prevention of inflammation” (p. 401). This helped me feel at peace about getting the bone set.
The next day at the emergency room, the X-ray technician explained that one wrist bone was broken, another was shattered, and both arm bones had been fractured at the wrist. An orthopedist set my wrist in his office with the aid of an assistant and put a cast on my arm.
The cast was uncomfortable, and three nights later, I experienced an attack of claustrophobia—a desperate feeling that my arm was painfully trapped in this cast and that I needed it off at all costs. Since it was late, I did not want to disturb the Christian Science practitioner, so I prayed for myself. I affirmed that the goodness of God’s kingdom was right there with me and that it could rule out of me whatever did not belong. In a couple of minutes, I was free from the sense of claustrophobia.
The following day I asked the orthopedist to remove the cast, after which he dismissed me from his care. I continued to use the splint the ER had given me until I graduated to a soft wrist brace four weeks later. During that month, I spoke on the phone every morning with the practitioner, who shared many wonderfully uplifting ideas with me.
This was a holy time of getting myself back into the regular study of Christian Science, starting with the Bible Lesson from the Christian Science Quarterly. When at first I could not seem to focus on the Lesson for any length of time, I began to write notes in the Full-Text Edition to help me think more deeply about what I was reading. I also started a subscription to JSH-Online.com and listened to every single article and testimony in each new issue of the Christian Science Sentinel and Journal. Further, I watched several wonderful Christian Science lectures on YouTube and began attending The Mother Church services online.
I was truly grateful for all the ways in which The Mother Church supports and encourages our spiritual growth. However, one major concern of mine from the beginning was the effect of the injury on my ability to play the violin. I never for a single moment let myself think I might never play again. At first, I was unable to get my wrist around into position to play the violin, and this persisted for many months. But I knew that healing is always possible in Science and that I could trust God to show me the way. Periodically I would pick up the violin, but the stiffness and discomfort in the wrist that surfaced with this effort left me no choice but to put it down again.
A year went by. Then one day, I read a Journal article that explained we do not need to postpone our healing—God isn’t requiring us to learn a lesson before He rewards us with healing. A light went on in my thought, and I realized that was exactly the trap I had fallen into. We never have to wait for healing, for God’s goodness is always available at the very moment it is needed. Salvation is now, not someday down the road.
A few days later, I got an email from a friend who lamented for the umpteenth time that I was no longer playing with our little music group. And for the umpteenth time, I went to fetch my violin, to give it another try. To my utter astonishment, this time my hand went right around into position, and I was able to move it freely up and down the fingerboard and across all four strings without even the slightest resistance, stiffness, or pain. It was utterly amazing! My astonishment quickly morphed into total gratitude to God for His marvelous goodness to us, and I immediately began preparing to rejoin my music group.
When I did start performing again, I would occasionally experience discomfort during sustained playing and feel the need to stop and rest my wrist. When I became nervous about performing a major solo two weeks before a performance, I realized I could practice joy while playing. This freed me not only of fear but also of any discomfort in that wrist, and I have been totally free ever since.
It occurs to me that the real healing here has been about something much more important than my wrist. It has been about my return to the earnest study and practice of Science. Spiritual growth is not accomplished in one single bound. Although I have experienced memorable moments of revelation, I have found that the strongest, most enduring growth comes with steady pursuit of the goal and the daily gains over error in oneself. I am not where I was over three years ago, when I stood on that rock pile wondering about the direction of my life.
I also learned that devoting oneself wholeheartedly to God and Christian practice does not mean spending our whole time with the books in solemn prayer. It means that whatever we do in this world, we must bring God into every corner of our life. It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson, and to discover how graciously blessed it is to live this way. By seeking God in every detail of our lives, we begin to see the good He has prepared for us and to live the life which is in Him.
Joan Atkinson
Vassalboro, Maine, US
