For fifteen years I longed to share instances of healing during weekly testimony meetings in our branch Church of Christ, Scientist, but found it practically impossible to do so. I would give a brief expression of gratitude at the Thanksgiving Day service but that was about the extent of it. An enormous fear kept me glued to the seat, week after week, year after year. Many times I left those Wednesday testimony meetings feeling unhappy with myself for not having obeyed my heartfelt desire to testify to God's healing power.
In striving to overcome this difficulty, I read many articles in the Christian Science periodicals and received much inspiration from them. I even asked myself what Christ Jesus might have said if someone had come to him with such a fear. The answer came bluntly: rise up and talk! Still I remained silent.
Two realizations finally propelled me over the hurdle. The first was the recognition that to leave this fear unhealed was to accept the suggestion of incurability. This shook me. Shortly after that, as I was pondering part of the Bible Lesson in the Christian Science Quarterly one morning, a line from Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy stood out (p. 256): "Progress takes off human shackles." I wasn't thinking about the testimony situation just then, but immediately I saw how it could apply. I thought: You've been waiting for the fear to disappear before you would be willing to testify. This statement, to me, reversed such reasoning. In this case, I saw that I must first take the progressive step; then the fear would drop away.
