Science and Health, page 504, tells us that "the successive appearing of God's ideas is represented as taking place on so many evenings and mornings,—words which indicate, in the absence of solar time, spiritually clearer views of Him." I love this explanation of the creation and miracle of light, for by it I have been lifted, somewhat, above the mortal conception of time, of periods measured by days and hours and planetary revolutions, into an ever-expanding realization of what light and creation really are. I shall never forget the evening and morning of my "first day" in Christian Science. During many years I had been earnestly yearning and seeking for a higher revelation of Truth,—for a knowledge of God made practical that would insure, at least in some degree, the fulfilment of the promises of the Scriptures. I had blindly and passively accepted the doctrines of old theology, simply because I had been so educated, my father's father having been a clergyman, but I was far from being satisfied, because of the many conflicting opinions and theories which I could never reconcile or understand. Among these, one of the most difficult problems was the nature of God and His omnipresence. Taught from childhood, to believe in a "personal God,"—a mysterious being embracing three persons in one,—the doctrine of omnipresence finally became a source of continual mental argument and of an antagonistic attitude that verged on skepticism. The more I argued and groped and wondered, the more dense and palpable the bewilderment and discontent became. Darkness was indeed upon the face of the deep. But although then unconscious of the fact, I now realize that this state of perplexity and restlessness was a sign that the Spirit of God was beginning to move upon the face of the waters. During one of these periods of doubt and questioning, and while laboring under great mental depression, the result of trials that seemed to encompass and harass, my attention was directed to Christian Science. I immediately purchased a copy of Science and Health and began to read it, but much of the book seemed so vague and mystical,—such a radical departure from all preconceived ideas,—that I found myself combating its statements on almost every page. Nevertheless, I caught, here and there, glimpses of Truth which set me thinking along new lines and encouraged me to read it a second time.
One evening I attended a testimony meeting in the Mother Church. While I was deeply impressed by the testimonies and interested in the demonstration over physical ailments, those alone did not meet my need, for I was spiritually hungry,—ay, starving,—blind and halt. I was reaching out for some golden thread of truth, some ray of light that would guide me to God,—the Bread of Life,—to Him who is eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. Just before the close of the meeting some one spoke, clearly and to the point, of God as divine Principle, and closed with the emphatic declaration: "God is divine Principle." With those words the light dawned upon my consciousness. It was the new birth; and instantly, the infant thought leaped with joy to lay hold upon the blessed revelation.
There followed a sense of content, of peace, and of rest indescribable after the toiling and rowing through the long night of gloom, and I cried within myself, "Now, I know what God is! Now, I understand how God can be omnipresent!" It was the evening and the morning of my first day in Christian Science. I had crossed the "line of demarcation between the real and unreal" (Science and Health, p. 505), and "When the real is attained, which is announced by Science, joy is no longer a trembler, nor is hope a cheat" (Science and Health, p. 298). Divine Principle! the source and basis of all things perfect and eternal; of the universe and man; the ever-present and omnipotent. What a revelation! what a vista opened out before me! Preconceived ideas and opinions, on these points, were at once and forever consigned to oblivion. An anthropomorphic God and an impossible trinity were instantly lost sight of in the inspiring consciousness that God is Mind, Spirit, the creative and ever-governing Principle I knew it was the truth, and never, since that moment, have I doubted or questioned. I knew that, for me, darkness would be no more upon the face of the deep, for, even though it was but the dawn of the first day, I had found and grasped the thread of gold; I had discerned a ray of celestial light; I had touched the first round of the ladder, reaching from earth to heaven, and I knew it would eventually lead me upward to eternal harmony; and upon it I could, even then, though beholding as in a glass darkly, seem to see ascending and descending, the angels or messages (Science and Health) of God that were to guide me o'er the toilsome, but no longer gloomy, way.
