Prior to my study of Christian Science, and during those years which marked the passing from girlhood to womanhood, I developed an ailment which, as years went on, became chronic. I was a semi-invalid, spending many of my days in weakness and discouragement. This condition did not yield or slacken perceptibly when I took up the study of Christian Science, and many times I asked myself why, arguing that I faithfully read the Lesson-Sermons from the Christian Science Quarterly, attended church, and had no really bad habits. But not until several years later did I awaken to the one great need. It came when I was stricken with a complete nervous breakdown, which brought much mental and physical anguish. Christ Jesus' words, "If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light," shone forth with a radiant and fullorbed meaning. I saw very clearly that I could not accept both the material and the spiritual sense of things. I must be single-minded, and must have a spiritual goal. Then I began to study as I never had before.
In Proverbs we read that as a man "thinketh in his heart, so is he." I saw for the first time the importance of looking within—searching my thinking—and began to put off offensive dispositional tendencies; for I had never possessed what is known as a good disposition. Selfishness, flourishing under the guise of sensitiveness, was recognized as a deceiver; the desire to dominate my family was discerned as a destroyer of happiness; and a caustic tongue was corrected gradually and its bitter prattle ceased.
As I began to come out from among these traits and be separate, a heaven-born desire to love as Jesus loved took possession of me, and the outcome of it was a complete and permanent healing of the nervous disorder. This was followed by a greater sense of strength, activity, and peace than I had ever known before.
