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Prior to my study of Christian Science,...

From the October 1942 issue of The Christian Science Journal


Prior to my study of Christian Science, and during those years which marked the passing from girlhood to womanhood, I developed an ailment which, as years went on, became chronic. I was a semi-invalid, spending many of my days in weakness and discouragement. This condition did not yield or slacken perceptibly when I took up the study of Christian Science, and many times I asked myself why, arguing that I faithfully read the Lesson-Sermons from the Christian Science Quarterly, attended church, and had no really bad habits. But not until several years later did I awaken to the one great need. It came when I was stricken with a complete nervous breakdown, which brought much mental and physical anguish. Christ Jesus' words, "If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light," shone forth with a radiant and fullorbed meaning. I saw very clearly that I could not accept both the material and the spiritual sense of things. I must be single-minded, and must have a spiritual goal. Then I began to study as I never had before.

In Proverbs we read that as a man "thinketh in his heart, so is he." I saw for the first time the importance of looking within—searching my thinking—and began to put off offensive dispositional tendencies; for I had never possessed what is known as a good disposition. Selfishness, flourishing under the guise of sensitiveness, was recognized as a deceiver; the desire to dominate my family was discerned as a destroyer of happiness; and a caustic tongue was corrected gradually and its bitter prattle ceased.

As I began to come out from among these traits and be separate, a heaven-born desire to love as Jesus loved took possession of me, and the outcome of it was a complete and permanent healing of the nervous disorder. This was followed by a greater sense of strength, activity, and peace than I had ever known before.

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