Six years ago it would have been hard to find a more discouraged mortal than I, not because of ill health, though I was far from strong, but because I was so unhappy that I longed to die. The conditions of our home life were discordant and our financial affairs distressing. Nothing, aside from the comfort derived from our two children, was as I would have it. I longed to do for them, but my hands seemed tied so that I could not. Despite all this I was determined to make a success of life and constantly strove to do right.
Troubles piled upon us so fast that at last I grew afraid of what another day might bring forth. I became affiliated with a Christian church in early girlhood, but I had never experienced any spiritual awakening other than a desire to do right. Underneath a lightsome exterior, however, there was always an undercurrent of heart-hunger which seemed never to be appeased. Not finding satisfaction in the church, I sought it in society and in literary circles. These I enjoyed, but still the gap was not filled, and I again turned to the church and devoted myself zealously to every duty, wondering sometimes, though, if we were really following in the footsteps of Jesus. I often visited other churches and was willing to accept anything better if it was to be found.
I had heard of Christian Science and had no prejudice against it, but thought it was only for those in need of physical help. About this time a friend told me of her husband's healing, which was quietly taking place under this treatment, and I rejoiced that God actually was answering their prayer, even though I believed He would not answer mine. At this time I was attending some revival meetings, with a heart crying out to God to manifest Himself to me. Then the above-mentioned friend gave me the Christian Science text-book, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy, to read. I did not realize that Christian Science was a religion, but could not leave the book alone, although I did not seem to understand much of it.
